This May I attended Talia Sutra’s 200h Yoga Teacher Training in Portugal and since then things haven’t been the same.
It changed my life and I do not say that lightly.
Talia Sutra shaped my Yoga Journey in many ways since she was one of the first Yoga Teachers I’ve ever had. Back in 2015 I bought her ‚Love and all is Coming‘ Bundle on the Cody App (now Alomoves).
The Series was way too advanced for me, both physically and mentally.
But it allowed me to peak at what might be possible. One day.
Like the little sister I am, spying on my big sister getting ready to go out. Knowing time and experience, failures and winnings are what separates me from her.
Like any Journey, my Yoga Journey led me through valleys and peaks, hindered and pushed me, but most importantly, led me to the most amazing souls. To the most amazing places. Both inside and outside of me.
Arriving in Portugal was no exception. First of all is Cocoon filled with a special energy, that is hard to put into words. Yes it’s beautiful and magical and obviously filled with a lot of joy from countless retreats and Teacher Trainings. But there is something else.
Cocoon to me feels like a giggle, an exhale and the moment after meditation, right before you open your eyes.
A place like this attracts souls that feel like honey, while still having the sass of a peacock. Like Tony Lupinacci, our Teacher alongside Talia during the Training.
I’ve never ever met someone like Tony. He wears his softness in his eyes, as if he could cry in any moment, so connected to his heart space, and then BOOM he starts to teach and you are blown away by his clarity, his firmness.
I would follow him anywhere knowing that he wouldn’t lead me unless I walked on my own.
Being part of a group like that is always uncomfortable for me. Most of my life I felt like an outsider. In School I was always away working, at work I was always the kid.
It’s a vulnerable space, to fall back into the support of a group. To be part of something without trying to dominate it or deny my own strength. To just be as I am, in the middle.
We opened the two weeks of living, learning and being together with a sharing circle. Like an unspoken agreement everyone opened up to their most vulnerable space right away. No games, no fear. That was the moment I knew that my soul choose to be here.
Both Talia and Tony are really funny. And so kind! The underlying message is always „Do what feels good for you“. Which I did not expect at all since they both come from the Gosh Tradition which is very set in their ways. But realizing now that with all the structure comes a lot of freedom. Not despite, but because of this steady frame you have so much safety and space to explore.
With these two as your teachers you can truly come as you are.
Talia would never force her way on anyone. She lives Yoga. Through and through. And yoga is funny, and deep, and piscean and light and cheeky. Yoga is Ahimsa and looking at the dark places. Yoga is Community and Support. Just witnessing Talia showed me how loving boundaries are supposed to look like. I cannot imagine teaching a 200h YYT for two and a half weeks while living, eating and sharing the space with your students without loosing you integrity, your joy, your energy. She is the embodiment of show don’t tell. Lead by example.
One time after practicing teach, we all gathered again on our mats. The energy was low. I could see it in the faces of my fellow students, the shame, the disappointment I too felt.
Expecting some feedback, the good, the bad and the ugly I peaked at Talia. I could feel my gut tightening like it used to in school. The fear of the Teacher, or more the fear of my own failure, my own humanness, the fear of disappointing. Which is so ingrained in (I think) most of us. In this meritocracy. But then again, survival of the fittest has nothing to do with money or fame. It’s in our DNA. Always improving and re-inventing and performing and producing.
Talia looked at us, with her big eyes that go right through to your soul. And then she said the sentence that since then has been keeping me warm.
„No mistakes were made“
Just like that.
I could feel my stomach drop. I felt like crying. The energy in the room changed immediately. It felt like the deepest exhale, relief. Hope. That there is another way possible. That it doesn’t have to be like we are used to.
Later at night, while I was listening to my roommates sleep, I was still bathing in this feeling. After a while I could sense the fear creeping in again. „But what could I have done better? How will I improve if I don’t look at my mistakes?“ In the darkness I smiled. I looked at the fear. I held it. „It’s ok“ , I whispered
„Love and all is coming“.